Teach your dog to say “please”!

Kids can be demanding, impolite little critters, and we usually have only ourselves to blame.  It’s easier to placate them by giving in to the shakedown than it is to do the right thing; hence, the child who whines at the grocery store gets handed a treat.  Guilty!

Based on the complaints my clients have about their dogs’ uncivilized behaviors, it’s apparent that they give in to their dictatorial pooches as much as to their progeny; i.e., their dogs are bratty, too!

Many dog owners have been told that having an obedient pet requires proving you’re the alpha dog by bossing him around.  Those of us with children have tried this, and I know how it worked for me:  It didn’t.  Like kids, dogs will obey when threatened with harsh consequences, but it can damage the bond you have with them and cause more behavioral problems. 

Your dog wants resources:  food, toys, walks, play time, and affection. When you control those resources, you’ll gain his respect and attention. Make him earn what he wants, and watch your relationship with him change.  That is a training principle that has been around many years and goes by various names, such as “no free lunch” and “learn to earn.”  The program erases old bad behaviors and establishes good new ones in a matter of days, not weeks or months.

The foundation of the program is controlling the dog’s resources, especially the one that’s the most valuable to him:  food.  He will get what he wants only by saying “please”:  He must sit automatically and look at you for permission. Every bite of food that goes into his mouth is controlled by you.  Every toy he gets, every pat he gets, he must earn by saying “please.” 

As veterinarians have studied dog behavior through the years, this “no free lunch” concept has evolved into a scientifically sound program.  My favorite resource is Dr. Sophia Yin’s protocol called “Teaching Fido to Learn to Earn” (http://drsophiayin.com/docs/LearntoEarn11.2009.pdf). She actually has dog owners tether themselves to their dogs for the first few days of the training (www.buddysys.com), an intense learning experience that is highly effective in establishing lasting behavioral changes.

I already hear the protests: Who has time for that?  Consider this:  Whether you’re aware of it or not, you’re already training your dog all day long, anyway.  When you let him push ahead of you through a door, you’re training him to be disrespectful.  You might as well use the same situation to teach him that you’re his leader. 

Dr. Yin’s tethering method reaps the greatest rewards, but I still think the program is worth doing even without it. Learning your role does require some reading and preparation, but as with anything new, eventually you’ll do it automatically.  You’ll continue to reinforce your dog’s polite behavior with praise, tidbits, or other rewards.

Crash diets don’t work, but this crash course in manners has always been remarkable to me.  I’ve seen it work not only on unruly dogs, but also on those with anxiety and fear.  When they have a consistent leader to guide them, it gives them great comfort.  Dogs actually like having a predictable commander-in-chief to look up to. Give your dog a gift: Teach him to say “please,” s'il vous plait!